From Questionnaire to Coffee Shop: How I Get to Know My Couples

A glimpse into what happens after you book your celebrant — and why this stage is one of my absolute favourites.

A Trip into London (and Why I Love It)

Recently, I jumped on a train and headed into London to meet a couple who are getting married at the end of June. Trips like this are genuinely one of the highlights of my job. Yes, I could have done another video call — but there is something about meeting face to face, in a relaxed setting, over a good cup of coffee, that changes everything.

It sets the tone for our whole working relationship. And honestly? It is one of the most enjoyable parts of being a celebrant.

It Starts Before We Even Meet: The Couples Questionnaire

Before any in-person meeting, I ask my couples to complete a questionnaire. This is not just admin — it is where the ceremony really begins to take shape.

The questionnaire gives me a foundation to work from. I learn about how they met, what they love about each other, what matters to them on the day, and any personal touches they already have in mind. By the time I walk into that coffee shop, I already have a sense of who they are — which means our conversation can go so much deeper than the basics.

It also means the couple does not have to start from scratch. They have had time to think, to discuss things together, and to arrive at our meeting feeling prepared and excited rather than put on the spot.

The Coffee Shop Meeting: Where the Magic Happens

There is a reason I choose informal settings for these meetings. A coffee shop feels natural, comfortable, and a little bit celebratory — because it should. You are planning your wedding, after all.

We settle in, order our drinks, and I let the conversation breathe. This is not an interview. It is a chat — the kind you might have with a friend who just happens to be writing your ceremony.

I want to hear the stories that did not make it onto the questionnaire. The funny ones, the meaningful ones, the ones that make them look at each other and laugh. I want to understand the feeling they want in the room when their guests are sitting there waiting. I want to know what would make them think, yes — that is us.

We also talk about the structure of the ceremony itself. Do they want something short and sweet, or do they want to really savour every moment? Are there readings, rituals, or surprises they have in mind? Is there anything they absolutely do not want? All of this helps me build something that is entirely theirs.

Why This Stage Matters So Much

Your ceremony is the heart of your wedding day. It is the moment everything stops, and everyone turns to watch two people choose each other. That deserves more than a template.

What I take away from a meeting like this is so much more than notes on a page. It is a feeling. It is an understanding of who these two people are together — their rhythm, their humour, their tenderness. And that is what I pour into every word of their ceremony.

By the time I leave, I am already excited to write it.